Perhaps Today

Valentine's Day for single ladies according to my father.

• Yo: (talking to my sister and I on the way to school this morning) So, since both of you will both be single for Valentine's day tomorrow, I thought we would have a special celebration.
• Yo: And that will consist of?
• Yo: I'm going out to buy a pinata today, and tomorrow we're going to listen to depressing Adele songs and beat the s*** out of it.
• Yo: Seriously?
• Yo: I'm being so legit.
• Yo: Oh my god. Let's seriously do this.
• Yo: And pizza for dinner tonight. I'll tell Mom to pick up a box of donuts on her way home from work.
• Yo: Why?
• Yo: Because that's what woman want when they're sad. I don't think I've ever heard of a girl with a broken heart stuffing her face with pita bread and carrot sticks.